Back to square one!

Yesterday I read a post on Facebook, on one of my friends profile. It was about an Indian guy  in the US, who so much wanted to return to India, to be with parents, that every time he tried to, his attempt was not fruitful until, there came the time, that he had lost his parents, his wife separated from him and kids had turned American- by the time he returned.

When I read articles like these it scares me so much, that I pray with faith asking God to take me to my motherland, at the earliest.

Away from mom and dad, away from uncles and aunts, away from the sweet little cousins who always make your life so cheerful, it feels so awful to even think of the happiness that is being missed everytime.

However, the country that I am now living in has made me get so used to the sophistication, the lifestyle I have so blended with, that I keep complaining about missing them, when I am in Ooty and Coimbatore. Ooty being my hometown and Coimbatore the place I was born in, and this is where most of my cousins live. It is mainly the commutation between places in Coimbatore that makes you go mad and crazy. Travelling in call taxis(the local ones are maruti vans) may be considered as the best way of commutation, if you have kids with you and  if you dont have your own conveyance. But having once travelled in a call taxi - maruti van from Thudiyalur, which is about 12 Kms from Coimbatore on the way to Mettupalayam   to a place called Pothanur, which is on the other end of Comibatore, on the way to Pollachi, I almost puked, the minute I got down at the destination. The glorious bumps on the road, the mad traffic- that only God knows when it may get disciplined, the mobile phone that the driver kept attending- meanwhile screaming at those who were trying to overtake his vehicle, and most of all the smell of LPG on which the cab was running. Oh! how much I missed the MRT (Mass Rail Transport) used in Singapore- so timely and convenient, air conditioned, disciplined people- makes travelling a pleasure.

For the different facilities that this place offers, the sophisication of lifestyle - yet affordable, may damage my patriotism, but  cannot kill it completely. Rain or shine, east or west, with all the imperfections, my country is still the best.

Depriving my children of Happy childhood!

I am a working mother and I go through this odd feeling quite so often! I have always wondered and queried myself, as to whether I should quit working and stay at home to take care of the kids. But  the feeling comes and goes-like it has not really stayed in my mind for long. It happens that the occurence of the feeling is during times when both parents are not able to give quality time for kids- when kids are more dependent on domestic helpers than the parents, when in their routine they spend more time with the maids than with the parents, when during day they are hooked on to the TV than having parents around to talk to and spent time with.

All these things that I had just mentioned happens in my house more so often. Because of which I tend to be swimming in a pool of guilt every now and then. At these times, some one I may speak to gives me justification that its OK for me to go to work, because ultimately it is for the kids future. We want to see them enjoy all good, provide the best education etc etc and the list of justification goes on. So back to square one, there I am back with my routine work schedule, and that is again away from kids for most of the time.

Being in a foreign country, all by your self(I mean, just the family), without much help, we are forced to be dependent on the maid. Trusting our kids with the maid, especially children is a big challenge. When we happen to get a maid who can be trusted, major part of the challenge has been crossed. But there remains one aspect that is compromised here. Whatever role genetics plays in getting our children to take up characteistics of their parents, there is still the undeniable truth that their upbringing is more influenced by the maids. Willingly I have compromised on that issue all these days, now I think the realisation is surfacing, because of which I think and rethink whether I should quit my job. It might look like a small decision. But I think parents going through the same situation like us, will understand what I feel like!

Away from home in a foreign land-IDENTITY- what is your own?

Being away from mother land, being away from kith and kin, being away from what is your own! What does that mean to you. I chose to write on this topic, because, nine years away from my own land has caused a deep scar in my heart, which I dont think will fade away.

To my people back in my mother land, it is a great opportunity to go to a foreign country, where of course the currency value is higher than your very own country's. It may be exciting to go to foreign countries, but it should never be for very long. It is considered a privilege if the son in law of the family was working overseas. The entire family would boast about it to the family members. There was a time in India when unemployment was at its heights, and hence people with good talent moved out of India in search of jobs. That was the dot com fall time. Then when the field of IT began spearheading, unemployment was thawed by it.   Yet people did not stay back in India, in fact more people started going out in search of better jobs, better lifestyles. I wonder how many of you, my readers will agree to this point. But I wish to write as I percieve it.

Different countries offer different privileges to foreigners working in their Country. In that order, Singapore gives good privileges to people from other countries, staying and working for Singapore's development. Knowledge workers can obtain their Permanent Resident (PR) privilege, and once you get your PR you are also eligible to buy a house. Houses cannot be bought on first hand though, it can be bought as second hand, meaning the first owner has at least owned it for five years. Though these privileges are  given to  foreign talents, citizens are treated with a higher order of preference, which I think is fair. Likewise, there are umpteen other issues. Yet, citizens of the nation tend to hate foreigners. For some reason or the other they keep taunting foreigners for having taken away what could have otherwise been their opportunity. Now how is it that foreigners could have helped this?  I seriously do not know the answer.

And I DONT consider myself to be blessed amply for staying  in a foreign land, where I hold a valid NRIC, have my own house to stay in, a job where I am satisfied, my kids get to enjoy so many things that they would not get to in my motherland and my list continues.....for the reason that I wonder what is my true IDENTITY!

I bet there are many out there who would share similar feelings. Share your thought by sending in your commments.You may have had same kinda experiences, but in other countries. I would love to read your comments.

Butter Paneer Masala with love!

Are u thinking this may be a recipe note? Okay may be or not! I would rather say that this post is more on my style of cooking! Ha ha, having written this I cant control my laughter thinking of the different short cuts I take to cooking most dishes. I am not the kinda person, who goes out of my way or takes the pain to buy exclusive ingredients to make a dish taste yummy.......i just put in any substitute possible either to get the color, taste, serving etc.

One of the days last week I decided to make some different gravy to go along with Chappathi, for dinner.This thought occured to me at around noon time, I decided to make butter panner masala. That meant that  I had to buy panneer on my way back home. This is another big process to be carried out on my way back home- SHOPPING! Believe me I totally hate shopping (not so feminine right?!?). Anyways, now that I had already thought of butter paneer masala for dinner, I decided to do this shopping part. So on my way home, I had to alight in a stattion called Little India, to buy panneer(which is so INDIAN, and hence you will not get it in ANY supermarket except for Indian shops).

I am not an expert in cooking, and so I had already looked up some easy recipes on the internet, in fact a few you tube videos on how to do butter paneer masala! See how complicated cooking can be!!!

 In the recipes there was this ingredient mentioned- cream. Now it happened that cream was not available in the shop where I purchased paneer, i decided to make do with a substitute, and u guessed it right- i decided to use milk.

Having done the shopping part, I went back home with the same spirit and started my task of cooking. Quite inspired that I had most of the ingredients for cooking, the task was completed satisfyingly. So the chappathi was made and also the butter paneer masala, done with a substituted ingredient for one of the major ingredients for taste. Anyways I had no regrets, because this is not the first time I did that. Haha!

Dinner being served I was waiting for my family to comment upon the defects in the dish, probably I could have even altered the original taste of butter paneer masala. So with curiosity in my mind we started our dinner, and to my surprise my make do cooking was tasty too. The appreciation from my daughter and husband took me by surprise and the feeling at that moment of time was that of the cheif chef of a five star hotel being congratulated for her cuisine.......

Nevertheless, it was served with love!

What is the percentage of heroism in you?

Last week, I watched a few videos of CNN heroes, some posted on Facebook and some others, I managed to pull from Youtube. There is this video of the song -Wont you stand up, stand up, standup! by Sugarland , that was dedicated to these heroes. Out of 10 people finally the CNN hero of the year 2010 was chosen as Anuradha Koirala from Nepal. Kudos for the social work, she has been doing, to relieve and give a new life to women and children from sexual slavery.

 There were other nominees, Narayan Krishnan(India), Guadalupe Arizpe(Mexico), Magnus Mac Farlane Barrow(Scotland), Harmon Parker(USA)  and there were others. These were the people who change life of the less fortunate , by taking some risk in their own life- that was what had made them the heroes that they are today.

 Each of the heroes were in thier own way different, rendering a helping hand to community, uplifting those who had lost homes, children who had lost parents, the hungry and the thirsty, those who needed medical healing for their life and for umpteen other reasons for which they had been nominated.

The heroes have been awarded $25000 to carry on their urgent work. The hero has recieved an additional $100,000 grant.It was rightly said, that they recieved the grants to help themselves to help others, but the examples that they have set is priceless.

It has always been in my mind and heart to go out of the way to help people, not meaning to be heroic, but being human. Seems like I will spend my life just in awe and admiration for these heroes, not by becoming one though. Nevertheless I do at least appreciate myself, and thank God almighty for the privileged upbringing I had.

How many of us groan, when the air conditioner does not work, when mom serves food cold, when maid hasn't done the ironing, blah blah.....and yet these are only minor problems.

One of the CNN hero - Magnus, was helping to feed 60,000 children in Haiti with one proper meal everyday. People who are in true need of proper nutrition will know to appreciate this  one proper meal a day, not those who waste so much of food, by naming it  in parties, or celebrations. I dont mean to say we have to stop being happy, but shouldn't we be educated about the good things God has blessed us with. Coming to write on this, I am just getting reminded of the Yahoo posts and discussion about the designer wears that celebrities wear for the different events. I guess the cost price of one designer wear can feed nearly hundreds of children one proper meal. It makes me wonder how much of this extravaganza is gonna appeal for us on the judgement day?!?

All of us have the heroism in us, it is just that some of them have made it big. So if we were to ever think of how we could display this heroism in us, it could be really simple- like it starts from home, live a simple life, dont waste food, help the needy, if not many at least a few around us who are really in need. Educate your children about what they have and how it makes a difference, get them to appreciate the blessings. God created this world with ups and downs, with most fortunate and less fortunate- so it is for the most fortunate to help the less fortunate.

I do have so many thoughts to pen, but wanna stop here and get back to work! Do comment on times you have been a hero.....I would greatly appreciate your valuable comments.

Thinking of my mother- God given gift!

Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father.

Narrated in Saheeh Muslim, Book 032, Number 6180

I love you Mother- For you are my gift from Allah!

My mom- most adorable, most loving, most caring, most giving, most forgiving..........It takes us a while to understand what they are to us, probably after we have become mothers ourselves.

I had wanted to write this post, and publish it yesterday, i.e., on mother's day as a token of appreciation of the person that my mom has been. But yesterday was truly mother's day for my own self, and it was because, my helper had taken her day off. So from morning until evening, I was mothering the two kids. The chores of the day made me wonder, what trouble I had given mom when I was a kid.

My mother was a school teacher(retired on April 22nd, 2011). She has taught  HomeScience for students in the higher secondary grade,  for over 30 years, and also Science for  students from standard 6 to standard 10. I feel proud to make a note here. My mom was the first Homescience teacher for the higher secondary grades in the whole of Nilgiri District, Tamilnadu, India. She was a strict teacher and students were scared of her. Nevertheless, she is one person, who helps poor students and those in need of help. She has counseled many of her students who have had teenage trouble or family problems. She has been an inspiration to many of her students and of course to me as well.

The past few years, I have not been near mom on mother's day, to give her a treat or to treat her special on that day. But one thing is for sure, she is special in my heart every second of my lifetime and  I will hold her close to my heart. This year too, as I am away from her, I wish her all good, and I pray that God Almighty bless her with good health and the strength to do all good things for those around her.

So here is wishing my mom and all those moms who are their children's whole wide world- A Happy Mother's day, and many more to come!

21 minutes to travel in the MRT to reach my office from home

Time is a precious resource, but most of the time, I realize it late. I guess, that is why it is precious.....

This post is not about the time, but about the things I do, when I dont have control over the time, rather the MRT( Mass Rail Transit) operator has! It takes exactly 21 minutes of travel from my home to my workplace, if I were to take the MRT. Singapore is well planned and organized and hence the timing hasn't once changed from the standard 21 minutes. 

So now that I had hopped onto the MRT, I then realized that I had forgotten to bring my novel along and oh gosh how am I gonna pass this 21 minutes, i.e.,1260 seconds, thats a lot of time, and I could have well read over 25 pages in my novel. OK! Now that  that is not possible, what could be done? Just listen to music. Music was on and then I realized that it was  work only for my ears, what are the eyes and the brain gonna do??? I dont wanna sound as though I am one nice person, who NEVER, EVER wastes time.It is just this 21 minutes that I cant wait to get to my workplace,at least if the MRT was on ground, it would have been better, but this one is underground!!!

Do I sound paranoid? I could spend the time easily, and you know how?By just watching people around me, my fellow passengers!

When I hopped into the MRT, I hadnt realised that the place where I was standing may not be so bearable, purely because of these love birds standing next to me, and the guy was fondling this girl all over- I have always wondered why the government did not have law in practice to stop such things. Where are we heading? At that point in time, this thought crossed my mind - "Thank God, Sukayna is not with me now"- because there would have been a hundred and one unwanted questions to be answered!

Should I become more mature?

My close observation during travel in the MRT makes me believe that out of every 6 persons in the MRT, 4 of them had an Apple iPhone- with all its apps, so they could pass their time without even noticing(those of them who were seated) that there was an elderly or a pregnant lady who wanted their seat more than they did.  Without forgetting what I wanted to convey, Apple is making their bulky profit because of these busy people!

Moving along my line of people , I have been watching(obviously without their knowledge) there was this smart guy, sure a teenager- who had been  seated  in one of  the reserved seats( the ones researved for senior citizens, pregnant women, disabled and the ones with kids). One old lady walked in to the train at a stopping and went and stood in front of this teenager. I had been noticing that he was playing games on his PSP, for a while. Now that the old lady walked in, he suddenly pretended to fall asleep. A frustration crept into my mind and I felt like going near him and waking him up. But before much time, the woman sitting next to him, a middle aged woman got up to give the old lady her seat. Though I felt happy for the old lady, the frustration dint go. Are we bringing up our kids in the right way?

Before my thought could go wandering, I was disturbed by the noise of the doors shutting, before the train could leave the station, and there was this person, who got all of us standing near the door into a state of panic. What did he do? He just jumped into the train, when the doors has already started to close. He managed to get in unharmed and also managed to spoil most of our day, which had to start with a panic.

I had just  started analysing this incident, when I  heard the announcement of my station, so I got ready to alight, also thanking God for having made my journey safe!